At ballet tonight we had the star of our school in our class. She is a very good dancer, who injured herself late last year, and is doing the adult ballet class as part of her recovery program. When I compare what I do with what she does I just look plain awful.
On Monday we had the beginners class. We had about three students doing their first ever ballet class, and compared to them I look absolutely fabulous.
So which is true? Actually both are true, which shows how useless comparisons really are. They are such a sliding scale, and there is always something to improve or celebrate. I could puff myself up, or I could make the whole thing utterly depressing, so much so I give up.
Most nights at ballet I don't look at anyone, cos I'm working quite hard to do what I need to. I'm in that quiet space where I don't notice what is around me. It's a great spot - my brain stops going blah blah blah and I focus. I get in that space sometimes when running too. And occasionally when writing.
I suspect enlightenment might mean living my whole life in that space.
I suspect enlightenment is a long way off!